Coping With Guilt New Hyde Park NY

Mommy and Daddy guilt seem to become inherent emotions mysteriously transferred through some sort of osmosis to men and women as soon as they become parents.

Local Companies

BBT/School of Russian American Ballet
718.769.9161
2001 Oriental Blvd, Building T7, 2nd floor, Room 7211
Brooklyn, NY
Dance Camp for Veteran's Day 11/11/10 Grades K-5
212.995.9446
219 Sullivan Street
New York, NY
Ms. J's Gymnastics & Dance
718.218.7065
289 Kent Avenue
Brooklyn, NY
Preschool of America
212.262.4545
345 West 42nd Street
New York, NY
The League Center and Preschool
718.643.5300
30 Washington Street
Brooklyn, NY
92nd Street Y
212.415.5500
1395 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY
Charley's Cradle (Newborn Care Specialists)
212.868.2180
1270 Broadway,Suite 1101
New York, NY
Little Friends School of Elmhurst
718.458.5415
85-03 Britton Avenue
Flushing, NY
Pinch Sitters
212.260.6005
799 Broadway
New York, NY
Primary Foundation Day Care Center
718.239.4618
2045 Story Avenue
Bronx, NY

Mommy and Daddy guilt seem to become inherent emotions mysteriously transferred through some sort of osmosis to men and women as soon as they become parents. Guilt, along with other unpleasant emotions like stress and anger are really self defeating and energy draining emotions. Anger can impair your judgment and end up rewarding a child with whom you are in the midst of a pint sized power struggle. Guilt, however, can make you over compensate and when you are feeling like a less than perfect parent as you try to make up for your lack of perfection by giving in to your child.

A parents feeling of guilt can interfere with being a successful parent and damage your relationship with your children and their own emotional growth. It can also encourage your child to repeat unwanted behaviors. Learning how to cope with guilt is difficult, but doing so will increase your happiness as a person, partner and parent.

Because you are the one in control of your thoughts, and your thoughts control your emotions, it is reasonable to ascertain that you control how you feel. You control your happiness and joy, as well as your anger, fear and guilt. Resisting self defeating emotions takes patience and practice. It also requires the unwavering acceptance that you are an imperfect human being, just like everyone else.

All parents will be tempted to give in to self defeating emotions at times. Sometimes these reactions may seem spontaneous and impossible to control. You might still feel guilty and angry when your child has a tantrum in public. You may become discouraged if your son gets a failing report card. A certain amount of child misbehavior and aggravation is part of parenting and can be discouraging and frustrating.

However, you can practice controlling your feelings, replacing positive thoughts with negative thoughts which will help you to avoid feeling guilty. Try to do the best you can considering all circumstances and remind yourself that. Try to set realistic goals and do not expect perfection from yourself. Do not think you are failure if you did not have the answer to a question or could not meet the need presented to you. You are human and should not let your disappointment keep you down. Do not dwell on your inadequacies. Think about the times you were successful. Encourage yourself just as you would one of your children!

Dr. Randy Cale, a Clifton Park-based parenting expert, author, speaker and licensed psychologist, offers practical guidance for a host of parenting concerns. His Web site, www.TerrificParenting.com,, offers free parenting guidance and an e-mail newsletter.
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