Coping With Guilt Maspeth NY

Mommy and Daddy guilt seem to become inherent emotions mysteriously transferred through some sort of osmosis to men and women as soon as they become parents.

Local Companies

Care For All Family Day Care
718.820.2595
East 162nd Street
Bronx, NY
Hudson River Community Sailing
212.924.1920
W. 26th Street and Hudson River Greenway
New York, NY
Kids Creative (aka Create-A-Play)
646.485.5123
New York, NY
La Escuelita
212.877.1100
302 West 91st Street
New York, NY
Star America Preschool
212.262.4896
780 8th Avenue
New York, NY
Battery Park City Day Nursery
212.945.0088
215 South End Avenue
New York, NY
Chelsea Recreation Center
212.255.3705
430 West 25th Street
New York, NY
Jewish Community Center - The JCC in Manhattan
646.505.5708
334 Amsterdam Avenue
New York, NY
Kids 'n Action
718.377.1818
1149 McDonald Avenue
Brooklyn, NY
Preschool of America
212.987.3700
1501 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY

Mommy and Daddy guilt seem to become inherent emotions mysteriously transferred through some sort of osmosis to men and women as soon as they become parents. Guilt, along with other unpleasant emotions like stress and anger are really self defeating and energy draining emotions. Anger can impair your judgment and end up rewarding a child with whom you are in the midst of a pint sized power struggle. Guilt, however, can make you over compensate and when you are feeling like a less than perfect parent as you try to make up for your lack of perfection by giving in to your child.

A parents feeling of guilt can interfere with being a successful parent and damage your relationship with your children and their own emotional growth. It can also encourage your child to repeat unwanted behaviors. Learning how to cope with guilt is difficult, but doing so will increase your happiness as a person, partner and parent.

Because you are the one in control of your thoughts, and your thoughts control your emotions, it is reasonable to ascertain that you control how you feel. You control your happiness and joy, as well as your anger, fear and guilt. Resisting self defeating emotions takes patience and practice. It also requires the unwavering acceptance that you are an imperfect human being, just like everyone else.

All parents will be tempted to give in to self defeating emotions at times. Sometimes these reactions may seem spontaneous and impossible to control. You might still feel guilty and angry when your child has a tantrum in public. You may become discouraged if your son gets a failing report card. A certain amount of child misbehavior and aggravation is part of parenting and can be discouraging and frustrating.

However, you can practice controlling your feelings, replacing positive thoughts with negative thoughts which will help you to avoid feeling guilty. Try to do the best you can considering all circumstances and remind yourself that. Try to set realistic goals and do not expect perfection from yourself. Do not think you are failure if you did not have the answer to a question or could not meet the need presented to you. You are human and should not let your disappointment keep you down. Do not dwell on your inadequacies. Think about the times you were successful. Encourage yourself just as you would one of your children!

Dr. Randy Cale, a Clifton Park-based parenting expert, author, speaker and licensed psychologist, offers practical guidance for a host of parenting concerns. His Web site, www.TerrificParenting.com,, offers free parenting guidance and an e-mail newsletter.
Related Articles
- Children Need Clear and Consistent Limits Maspeth NY
Limits are important for children because they teach kids what to expect about reality. As they go through the educational system, get jobs, have friendships and romantic relationships, there will always be limits.
- Unappreciative Teenagers Maspeth NY
- The Mystery of Commitment Maspeth NY